Freudenfreude: Reveling in other’s good fortune

October 22, 2023

“Freudenfreude, celebrating in the joy of others, is a wholeness practice because spiritual life invites us to the use every challenge for our own spiritual liberation.”

The quickest way to increase our sense of worthiness and deserving is through appreciation. Really. And the even quicker way to do that is to bask in the good fortune or success of another. Social scientists call it freudenfreude, inspired by the German word for joy. Which is the exact opposite of schadenfreude, which is finding pleasure in the misfortune of others.

I think you can see where I’m going with this. Not only does joining in the good fortune of others improve our mood, improve our own sense of deserving and self-esteem, but it increases emotional intimacy and endurance in relationships.

Studies have also found freudenfreuede bumps up our sense of resilience or self-efficacy, or our perception of being able to meet whatever the world throws at us effectively. In other words freudenfreude actually helps us out of learned helplessness and feelings of victimization.

But why can it be so hard to celebrate and champion the good fortune of others?

I once read that the most challenging situation to appreciate is somebody we perceive as a close peer who has attained that which we also long for.

I’ve been on both sides of this very human dilemma, uncomfortably envious of a friend’s architecturally designed new home, or new relationship or financial windfall. And I’ve also been the one friends or loved ones may have envied. Actually, I live with a sense of dread about loved ones turning against me if my success is to glaring. No fun. This comes from a traumatic experience that happened in middle school causing me to believe I should never shine my own light too bright. And I’ll tell you this is not something I want to continue.

I love the Jewish saying about the person who has discovered happiness because they are grateful for their portion.

So perhaps if we want to improve our day or maybe our lives freudenfreude is a practice we may want to take seriously. Not just because it’s squares us with our flow of universal good, but because it literally feels better and improves our relationships and the granular quality of our lives. Freudenfreude is another clue for becoming whole.

❤️